Si’s 18 Clothes

This story dates back a number of years. My girlfriend at the time was struggling with a diet she was on. For this story to make any sense you also have to understand that I have a good friend called Simon, who is always known as Si (pronounced the same as the word sigh). You also need to know that at that time I had no idea about women’s clothing being measured in size 12, size 14 etc measurements.

The conversation went something like this.

“I may as well just give up and wear size 18 clothes.”

“Si’s what clothes?”

“Size 18 clothes”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that. I am going to give up the diet and wear size 18 clothes”

I am very confused at this point…

“Why do you want to wear Si’s clothes?”

“Size 18 clothes”

“Alright. Si’s ‘18’ clothes. Why on earth do you want to wear them?”

“Because I will need to”

“You need to wear Si’s clothes?”

“YES. Size 18 clothes”

“Well that’s a bit odd. What is an ‘18’ clothe anyway?”


“What is it? An ‘18’ clothe. And what makes you think he has got any – or would let you wear them?”

“Who? What are you on about?”

“You have been saying you want to wear Si’s clothes”

“Yes. Size 18 clothes”

“He is going to think you are potty when you ask if you can wear his clothes.”



Realisation dawned. ”Not Simon’s clothes, you dillon. Size 18 clothes, you know, clothes in a large size because I will be fat”


I promise you, hand on heart, that I have not made this up. And I still laugh about it all these years later.


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