One Coin, Two Coin, Bitcoin, Devcoin

(With Apologies to Dr. Seuss and his wonderful “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish”)

One coin, Two coin, Bitcoin, Devcoin,
Litecoin, Blackcoin, Old coin, New coin.

This one has a bunch of dogs.
This one is being pumped by hogs.

Say! What a lot of coins there are.

Yes. Some are green, and some are blue.
Some are old and some are new.
Some are sad, and some are glad,
And some are very, very bad.
Why are they sad and glad and bad?
I do not know, I'm not your dad.

Some are thin, and some are fat.
Some have a dog, some have a cat.
From there to here,
From here to there,
Funny coins are everywhere.

Here are some who like to crash.
They crash after they take your cash.
Oh me! Oh my! Oh me! oh my!
What a lot of funny coins go by.

Some are worth two Satoshi and some are worth four.
Some are worth six Satoshi and some are worth more.
Where do they come from? I can't say.
But I bet there are more being made today.

We see them come, we see them go.
Some are fast. Some are slow.
Some are high. Some are low.
Most of them are just like each other.
Don't ask me why, I'm not your mother.

Say! Look at those forks!
One, two, three…
How many forks do I see?
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
That one has eleven!
Eleven! This is something new.
I wish I had eleven forks too!

Pump! Pump! Pump!
Did you ever become a Chump?
We have a Chump who took his lumps
But we know a man called Mr. Dump.
Mr. Dump has a seven-hump Pump Chump. So…
If you like to go Pump and Dump
Just jump on the hump of the Chump of Dump

Who am I? My name is Ned
I do not listen to what is said.
This is no good. This is not right.
My bitcoins lose value all night.
And when I cash them out, Oh, Dear!
The worst is yet to come, I fear!

I like Devcoin. It is made for me.
My stack sits up in back, you see.
I like Devcoin, and this is why:
Its value goes from low to high.

Hello there, Ned. How do you do?
Did you buy a new coin or two?
Whatever was inside your head?
Did you make out? Please tell me, Ned.
I do not like these coins at all.
A lot of these have started to fall.
Blackcoin, Dogecoin, there's one for a mouse.
Oh! What the hell! Oh! I will grouse!

Oh dear, oh dear! I cannot bear.
Will you please make-believe you care?
Will you please look inside my head?
There must be something there that's dead.
Say look! A bird was in your skull.
But he is out. (It was a gull).
So now your brain's no longer dull.

My bid is old, should have stuck with gold.
It's what the gurus all foretold.
My shoes are gone, my feet are cold.
I think I should have stuck with gold.
My bid is old, should have stuck with gold.
And now my story is all told.

We took a look. We saw a Crook.
On his head he had a hook.
On his hook he had a book.
On his book was “How to Crook”
We saw him sit and try to crook
But a Crook can't read, so a Crook can't Crook.
What good to a Crook is a Hook Crook Book?

The moon was out and we saw some sheep.
We saw some sheep take a position that was deep.
By the light of the moon, by the light of a star,
They invested their all, but didn't get far.
I would never be a sheep. I would rather own a bar.

I do not like this coin so well.
All it does is yell, yell, yell.
I will not have this coin about.
When it comes in I put it out.
This coin is quiet as a mouse.
I like to have it in the house.

On our laptop we have wallets.
We have so many, many wallets.
And that is why we have a Zollet.
A Zollet for wallets is very good.
Have you a Zollet for wallets? You should.

I like to box. How I like to box.
So every day I box a Mt. Gox.
In yellow socks I box my Mt. Gox.
I box in yellow Mt. Gox box socks.

It is fun to buy if you buy with a Bot.
My Bot can buy like your Bot cannot.
I buy high and my Bot sells low.
That might be why I'm poor, you know.

Hop, hop, hop! I am a Yop
All I like to do is hop,
From the last exchange to the one on the top.
I hop from site to site and then…
Hop, hop! I hop right back again.
I like to hop all day and night.
From right to left and left to right.
Why do I like to hop, hop, hop?
I do not know. It has to stop.

Did you ever fly a Feathercoin in bed?
Did you ever walk with ten Peercoins on your head?
Did you ever milk the Dogecoin trend?
Well, we can do it, until the end.
If you never did, you really should.
These coins are fun, and fun is good.

From near to far, from here to there,
Funny coins are everywhere.
These yellow coins, they are called NOBs.
They pile up fast in gobs and gobs.
Their value falls fast. So fast, they say,
They need to double every day.

Who am I? My name is Ix.
My value right now is point-oh-oh-oh-oh-six.
I have this trick to help make Ix quick.
When I wish to make Ix quick
I wave my hand with a big Ix-Wish Stick.
Then I say, “I wish for Ix!”
And I get Ix stuck right on my Stick.
If you wish to make some Ix,
You may fish for Ix with my Ix-Wish Stick.

At our house we play out back.
We play a game called Find the Hack.
Would you like to play this game?
Come down! We have the only Hack in town.

Look what we found in the park in the dark.
We will take him home, we will call him Dark.
He will live at our house, he will grow and grow.
Will the IRS like this? We don't know.

And now, Good night.
It is time to rest our loins.
So we will sleep with our pet altcoins.
Today is gone. Today was fun.
Tomorrow is another one.
Every day, from here to there.
funny coins are everywhere.

Categories: Cryptocurrency | Bitcoin | Humour | Parody

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