Oh, The Devcoins You'll Earn!

(With apologies to Theodore Geisel, “Dr. Seuss”)

 Today is your day. 
 You're off to the Devtome!
 You're off and away!
 You have brains in your head. 
 And an old pair of shoes. 
 You can write anything 
 anything that you choose. 

 You're on your own. You pay heat, rent and light. 
 And YOU are the person who'll decide what to write. 

 You'll look up and down pages. Look 'em over with care. 
 About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there." 
 Like the page that tells all about Lum-Dum-a-Rumps
 Or the one that explains about Pumping and Dumps.
 With your head full of brains and your wallet awaiting, 
 you're too smart to make art while defenestrating. 

 And you may not find ideas 
 you'll want to write down. 
 In that case, of course, 
 your head will spin 'roun'. 

 But do not despair
 when an idea's not there.

 Out there things can happen 
 and frequently do 
 to people as brainy 
 and writesy as you. 

 And when things start to happen, 
 don't worry. Don't stew. 
 Just go right along. 
 You'll start Devtoming too. 


 You'll be on your way up! 
 You'll be seeing great sights! 
 You'll learn about marketing 
 and open-source rights! 

 You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed. 
 You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead. 
 Whenever you write, you'll be best of the best. 
 Whatever your topic, you'll top all the rest. 

 Except when you don't. 
 Because, sometimes, you won't. 

 I'm sorry to say so 
 but, sadly, it's true 
 that lackluster page-views
 can happen to you. 

 You can get all hung up 
 in a syntax-y perch. 
 And the gang will write on. 
 You'll be left in a Lurch. 

 You'll come down from the Lurch 
 with an unpleasant bump. 
 And the chances are, then, 
 that you'll feel like a Schlump. 

 And when you're a Schlump, 
 you're not in for much fun. 
 Un-schlumping yourself 
 is not easily done. 

 You will come to a place where the words are not marked. 
 Some brains are lighted. But mostly they're darked. 
 A place you could sprain both your elbow and wrist! 
 Do you dare to write some? Do you think they'll be pissed? 
 How much can you lose? How much will you be missed? 

 The slant of your story, should you lean left or right... 
 or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? 
 Or go around back and sneak in from behind? 
 Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find, 
 for a Devtome-y writer to make up their mind. 

 You can get so confused 
 that you'll start in to race 
 down long wiggled columns at a break-necking pace 
 and grind on for hours across weirdish wild space, 
 headed, I fear, toward a most useless place. 

 The Editing Place. 

 for people just waiting. 
 Waiting for a story to edit 
 or a verb to come, or a noun to go 
 or the keywords to come, or the SEO to go 
 or the title to ring, or the conclusion to show 
 or waiting around for a Yes or No 
 or waiting for their page-views to grow. 
 Everyone is just waiting. 

 Waiting for the readers to bite 
 or waiting for people to come to the site 
 or waiting around for Friday night 
 or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Phil 
 or a picture to add, or to stop feeling ill 
 or a string of code, or another square bracket 
 or a bracket with curls, or to stop all the racket. 
 Everyone is just waiting. 

 That's not for you! 

 Somehow you'll escape 
 all that waiting and praying. 
 You'll find the bright places 
 where readers are staying. 

 With URL-banner flapping, 
 once more you'll ride high! 
 Ready for any new-style kind of versin'. 
 Ready because you're that kind of person! 

 Oh, the Devcoins you'll earn! There is fun to be done! 
 There are points to be scored and auctions to be won. 
 And the magical things you can do with those words 
 will make you fly high with the rest of the birds. 
 Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be, 
 and you might even grab a new bounty or three. 

 Except when you don't. 
 Because, sometimes, you won't. 

 I'm afraid that some times 
 you'll write crumby stuff too. 
 Stuff you can't stand
 'cause you'll write like a Shmoo. 

 All Alone! 
 Whether you like it or not, 
 Alone will be something 
 you'll be quite a lot. 

 And when you're alone, there's a very good chance 
 you'll spill some hot coffee right onto your pants. 
 There are times, down the road between hither and yon, 
 that can get you so down you won't want to go on. 

 But on you will go 
 though your ratings be foul. 
 On you will go 
 though your critics all howl. 
 On you will go 
 With a strongly-set jowl. 
 Onward up many 
 a frightening path, 
 though you may start to smell 
 and you'll need a quick bath. 

 On and on you will write. 
 And I know you'll write far 
 and face up to your problems 
 whatever they are. 

 You'll get mixed up, of course, 
 as you already know. 

 You'll get mixed up 
 with many strange rules as you go. 
 So be sure when you write 
 Write with care and great tact 
 and remember that Devtome's 
 a Great Balancing Act. 

 Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. 
 And never mix up your right hand with your left. 

 And will you succeed? 
 Yes! You will, indeed! 
 (98 and 55/100 % percent guaranteed.) 


 be your name Fheenix or Bomac or Weisoq 
 or SifuPhilWritesAllAroundTheBigClock, 
 you're off to Great Places! 
 Today is your day! 
 Your Devtome is waiting. 
 So … get on your way! 

Categories: Parody | Devcoin | Devtome

QR Code
QR Code oh_the_devcoins_you_ll_earn (generated for current page)