I have always been a shadow of my big sister, following her everywhere she goes. Not because I love to, but ever since I remember, it has been 

like this. I am always expected to do whatever my sister did when she was of my age and I usually deliver the same. I have never been treated 

like an individual who can have likes and dislikes of her own. In fact, my horizon was pretty much determined before my arrival.

My mom recalls everything about my sister's childhood. How, for the first time, she held her in her arms. My sister's first toy, first word, 

first walk and so on. I keep on waiting for her to continue and come to my details, but it never happens. May be people only remember their 

first time achievements- second just comes along afterwards. My mom and my sister are best of friends, mostly inseparable. I am just amazed how 

they come up with all the topics to have these endless conversations all the time. I wonder at the same time that when people are able to talk 

so much, why do some people struggle to utter even few words that are necessary.

Life has been pretty simple and easy for me. I don't have to ask for anything. I get everything that my sister gets. But, sometimes, this easy 

life promptly holds up its head and tries to sting me. I suddenly get this realization that I am very lonely and my life is very monotonous. 

But, when I start thinking about how this all can be changed or what can be done differently, I go blank. I have no idea of where I want to go 

from here or what I want to do with my life. To me, walking on the path that was already paved for me has been my destiny so far and I cannot 

think of how I can open new doors and explore new roads. Not that whatever I am doing until now is harmful or against my wellbeing, but I feel 

that this is definitely not what I am supposed to do. If it was, I would be happy and contented.

Today seems to be a different day. Even in the midst of this cluelessness, one thing is very clear in my mind that I am the one that has to 

take responsibility for the things that are happening in my life rather than putting the blame on the people around me. Today, for the first 

time, I am reviewing all the aspects of my life and trying to define my goals. I don't just want to live like a silhouette throughout my life. 

I don't want to follow someone blindly when I can be the leader myself. I am freeing myself from everyone's expectations today and giving my 

life a meaning because I want to be the light- I want to be an inspiration.

Society | Self Help

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