For a minute

Im tired of this 
The ways in which make me 
Is this all I am 
Is this all I've become 
So many years, into this? 
I take the razor, press hard 
Breathe, deeply, breathe 
Mind numb, body numb 
For what, for what is all this here for 
I don’t want it, take it, erase it 
Erase me; you always said there is tomorrow 
I don’t want tomorrow, I don’t want today, I don’t want now 
Have I lost myself? 
Is this all I have to offer 
Mindless scribbles of philosophy 
Words, mixed words on paper 
Is this all I have to show of myself 
And my body shakes, so cold 
Staring at the blade 
So sharp, so beautiful 
But I am weak 
Too weak 
Such a coward, such a 
Eyes racing, head pounding 
I drop the razor 
And realize 
I lost myself 
For a minute 
I lost myself 


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