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When I was little my mom used to dress me in stupid outfits, like leather closed toe sandals, Hawaiian, shirts and weird shorts. She made me bleach my hair until I was in 5th grade, and made me gel it up spiked. In like Kindergarten me and my sister were models for like “Toys R US” Magazines, and a “Finger Print Your Kid, Incase they get lost” company. But I don't know what ever happened to any of that money. My parents got a divorce in Kindergarten, and I don't even ever really remember them together, but I remember them dating and stuff.

When I was in middle school I started wearing stupid ironic shirts, but by choice. I didn't want to wear skate brands, because I happen to not have the ability to skate. So I just got the funny shirts. My best friend since Kindergarten (Ryan Jordan) was a bossy asshole, and one day he was making fun of my girlfriend in 7th or 8th grade, so I told him “Don't talk to me anymore, I like 75% hate you.” and I tried to distance myself from him. That's when I made another friend (Matt Phelan) who I continued to be friends with into high school.

In 9th grade I was weird. I wore eyeliner a few times, and even let girls in art class do my full makeup and hair, then I would have like 3 classes left looking like that. One day I was taking the math finals in high school and I finished early, because the teacher was afraid I would cheat (because I always shared with everyone, I believe cheating should be called sharing and we should make a class for it) so she sat me next to her desk, and her desk had all the past classes tests, so I could see the answers and I gave myself a 75, so she gave me an extra 10 points for finishing first, not cheating, and probably because I had makeup on. Then sent me to the office to make copies of the test answer fill in sheet. The lady at the desk wouldn't even look me in the eye, but she made the copies.

9th grade is also when I met another good friend (Nick Speight), and he's the person I first smoked weed with.

It started with cigarettes, but not in the sense that “After cigarettes I needed something stronger”. I have asthma, so I always thought that if I smoked anything I would have an asthma attack and die. But then one day in Boy Scouts, we were cleaning the side of the road, and we kept finding lighters (we liked to burn things in middle and high school). Then one of my friends walked up to me (I forget his name) and he had a pack of cigarettes. The foil was still closed and everything, but he said he found it on the side of the road with the lighters. I asked if I could have them and he said yes, and I kept them. But I think they were his, or he stole them from a scout leader. I kept them for a few days and one day when I got off the bus, I smoked half a cigarette and didn't die. I jumped the fence and walked across the golf course to get home (lungs weren't ruined), then went in the attack and smoked the other half. And didn't die again. So from this I learned that smoking doesn't kill me.

Then whenever me and Nick hung out, we would always go to the movies. And one day at the movies we were offered a cigarette, and I smoked that. Then that night I spent the night at his house and I smoked weed for the first time. The way it happened was weird, he just stopped playing video games and went around and started looking for something in the living room drawers. And I was like “What are you looking for”, and he said: “My mom's weed. Look for a baggie in a rubber band”

I forget who actually found it, so I'll say it was him. But then we smoked a bowl (like a finger nail size) on a eclipse gum container. It had been punched through to make a mouth piece, a carb, and a bowl. Then we rolled a joint with a cut out of some christmas bag stuffing paper, and got high. All we did was play video games, then went to sleep. But it made sniping REALLY easy with everything going so slow.

It was around Christmas the first time I smoked, so me and Matt gathered our Christmas money together and decided to get some weed. We gave Nick's friend Allan $120, and he said he would have it by Friday (which is NOT how things work, but in 9th grade you trust people). The next day he gave me a 20 sack that he said was meant for someone else, but the other kid didn't show up for school. So I was in math class (With Spencer Hope) we were taking a test, but I trusted Spencer so I showed him the weed. And he said “Smoke a bowl”. And I was like “No we're taking a test” And he said “Smoke a bowl” And I kep saying the same thing. Then eventually the test was done. And he said… “Smoke a bowl” and I said “We're in class” And he said “I'll sit in your desk, and you can put your backpack on the side.” So I was like “Ok.”

He got on my desk, and we put the backpack up, and I started smoking out of an eclipse gum container. Then he banged his hand on my desk”, I looked up, then went for another hit. But he banged my desk again, and said “He's coming”. So I quickly hid the pipe below my leg, and the teacher walked up and said “That was obvious.” So we ran out of the room spraying axe cologne.

two weeks later I was on the bus with a little bit of weed hidden in my belt buckle, and (Chelsea Pitts) asked me to hold her shoes for her, so she could wear pajama shoes. I was in 2nd period class and the principle walked up to the classroom door that I was in, looked right at me, pointed his walkie talkie, and said. “How are ya doin?” Someone told me that I looked like I had seen a ghost. Then I was called into the office, I thought it was over. Then it turned out they just wanted Chelsea's shoes, because they didn't want her wearing pajama shoes at school.

The next day I was in 3rd period and fell asleep. The assistant principal came in and took me to his office. They searched my back pack and my pockets but there was nothing. Then they asked “Let me see your phone”

I said “It's on the desk”

The assistant principal asked, “Then what's that.” it was my belt buckle. He made me open it, the weed fell out, and the school cop arrested me.

I was in jail for the weekend. Then boarding school for 8 months. That would be a whole other book. But you can search for stories about it on youtube “Red River Academy”. I made a few videos.


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