DEVTOME.COM HOSTING COSTS HAVE BEGUN TO EXCEED 115$ MONTHLY. THE ADMINISTRATION IS NO LONGER ABLE TO HANDLE THE COST WITHOUT ASSISTANCE DUE TO THE RISING COST. THIS HAS BEEN OCCURRING FOR ALMOST A YEAR, BUT WE HAVE BEEN HANDLING IT FROM OUR OWN POCKETS. HOWEVER, WITH LITERALLY NO DONATIONS FOR THE PAST 2+ YEARS IT HAS DEPLETED THE BUDGET IN SHORT ORDER WITH THE INCREASE IN ACTIVITY ON THE SITE IN THE PAST 6 MONTHS. OUR CPU USAGE HAS BECOME TOO HIGH TO REMAIN ON A REASONABLE COSTING PLAN THAT WE COULD MAINTAIN. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SUPPORT THE DEVTOME PROJECT AND KEEP THE SITE UP/ALIVE PLEASE DONATE (EVEN IF ITS A SATOSHI) TO OUR DEVCOIN 1M4PCuMXvpWX6LHPkBEf3LJ2z1boZv4EQa OR OUR BTC WALLET 16eqEcqfw4zHUh2znvMcmRzGVwCn7CJLxR TO ALLOW US TO AFFORD THE HOSTING.

THE DEVCOIN AND DEVTOME PROJECTS ARE BOTH VERY IMPORTANT TO THE COMMUNITY. PLEASE CONTRIBUTE TO ITS FURTHER SUCCESS FOR ANOTHER 5 OR MORE YEARS!

Day One\Jaki Introduction

Preface

This takes place during the end of the first day on the ship. Nolan has kept Simon close at hand in order for him to learn. He has already met Cass and Nomura, and I’m no too sure who else so far, according to the storyboard. This scene moves from the bridge, to the “main” corridor of the ship and ends in the cafeteria.

[Bridge]

… Now that I think about it, I’ve hardly known what time it was today, it’s flown by so fast. I’m just now succumbing to my grumbling stomach as hunger snaps back at me.

Everyone around me seems eager to go somewhere… but where? They weren’t even this excited during the launch.

From over my shoulder, dad’s voice now takes a more relaxed tone. “You’ve done well.”

I spin to find him proudly smiling, hands resting in the pockets of his jacket.

“Why don’t you head to the cafeteria? I’m starving. I’ll meet you down there in a while.”

“Err…”

He seems surprised by my puzzled feedback.

“I thought you knew your way around here!”

He gives a short nod to the wave of bodies flooding through the main corridor.

“I’m sure you’ll find your way.”

He places his hand on my shoulder.

“Keep up the good work.”

I give what I’m guessing looks like a thankful smile.

“Thanks. I’ve actually been dying to get a bite to eat anyways.”

He takes a moment of silence before starting again.

“I’m sure mom would be proud of how far you’ve come, y’know.”

Well that came out of nowhere. His comment leaves me with an uneasy feeling. I can’t remember the last time dad mentioned mom.

“I think… I think she’d be happy that we’re doing this. Together.”

Dad’s reaction was nothing short of jubilant.

“Simon! Nolan!”

Cass beckons to us across the room, clinging to an ecstatic Nomura.

“Hey! Fantastic work out there.” I give them an assuring thumbs-up.

Dad flashes a sincere smile in my direction before retreating to the other side of the bridge to congratulate the two personally.

As much as I’d love to stay and talk, my stomach is screaming. Edging towards the stairs, I see Nomura wave goodbye to me, remitting a wink. She smiles as I return the favor.

A short flight of stairs leads to the center corridor of the ship. I’m swept into the crowd without haste.

… [Enter Crowded Corridor] (Maybe this could instead be a picture of Simon walking rather than from his point of view.)

For some reason, I can’t shake Dad’s mention of mom.

Truthfully, I haven’t given her any thought since launch. Would she have been worried? When I was a teenager, I could hardly make it to school without her reminding me to be wary of serial killers. I’d rather not think about her on a better day like today.

… Dad’s comments on my performance today were awkward, yet reassuring. It’s strange working with dad, but not in a bad way. He has a way of keeping everyone calm with his own solemnity. …

My nerves seem to get the best of me when it matters most. I hope I can change (hurr durr foreshadowing). It’s astonishing how dad works so diligently to keep everyone in line. He certainly has a way with words.

The fact that it’s only up until recently that I’ve been learning all these new things about him is what feels strangely right. His absence when I was younger never really gave me time to know him. I almost think that’s why I joined the academy in the first place.

I guess I’ve just wanted to be with him. I didn’t really care what he was doing. Now that I’m here, I might be able to spend the time with him that I’ve always wanted to.

… It looks like I’m getting close to the cafeteria, up ahead I can see people—

[Simon’s perspective, corridor] “Move, move move!”

The double doors to my right swing open to reveal a lanky aproned man carrying a pot that’s far larger than him. “Coming through! I need space!”

He manages to part the sea of people and hurry into the cafeteria.

His origin through the double doors catches my eye. I muscle away from the crowd and grab the door just before it closes, poking my head inside.

[Still shot, from a perspective above Simon, looking into the kitchen] In an all-white kitchen, I spot two more aproned men bent over hot stoves. In the center stands an elegantly dressed girl. Entranced in her work, she toils away incessantly on every angle of what appears to be chicken. I watch as she anoints spices gracefully to her masterpiece. Watching her is amazing, really.

I open the door to get a better look. It lets out a sharp screech.

She shrieks as she sees me peeking inside of her kitchen. Her profile bleeds pale before quickly diminishing to a harsh glare. The other two chefs exchange amused glances.

I feel my heart sink. (Too beta?)

“I-I’m sorry, wrong door—“

I backed away from the door as quick as possible, drifting back into the now-subsided crowd. I receive an outlandish look from a young scientist who seemed to notice me.

“I was just making sure there was nothing wrong!”

He smirks and shrugs.

I can feel my face burning.

I take steps several at a time, stopping to peer over my shoulder, expecting the girl to come after me… I prepare an excuse but nothing happens.

–What smells so good?

… [Enter Cafeteria] I’m able to move easily from the corridor to the cafeteria. I pass by the lanky chef that I saw struggling with the pot earlier. He’s red in the face, sweating profusely.

All seats in the room are already taken. Except one table towards the back, empty, and seated for two people. The line for food is massive. It would be hopeless standing around for so long. Maybe I’ll just wait around until things clear out a bit.

I start for the table in the back, passing by other tables filled with people laughing and talking about the launch success. Community tables are lined with all sorts of fantastic food and drink. My stomach lets out another long growl.

I scan the room for Cass or Nomura before remembering that they were still up with dad. Surely they would be down here soon…? For my own sake, I hope so.

I do another double take to make sure I’m not being stalked on by an angry chef ready to hit me with a frying pan or something. … I’m being ridiculous. Something like that could never happen. …right?

I finally decide to give in and take a seat at the table in the back, stretching my legs and giving them a well-deserved break. Nothing could have felt better. They’ve held me up for past… 36 hours, has it been? I loosen my neck with a slow turn and nearly miss the skylight that almost covers the entire cafeteria ceiling.

I gaze up and manage to lose myself in the stars. I’m not really thinking about anything, but rather simply admiring them as we swiftly speed through space.

[A wild Jaki appears]

“Hi…”

I blink a few times and bring my head down to see a contrite looking woman in an apron over a pinstriped shirt with rolled up sleeves. I recognize her as the same girl I saw in the kitchen earlier. She actually looks a lot older now, for some reason. Older than me. She places two plates on the table, nudging one in my direction.

The cafeteria is only half full now. Did I doze off or something?

“Oh, hey…”

She seems caught off-guard by my bewilderment. Maybe she was thinking I’d try sneaking up on her with a frying pan instead. Her expression shifts from surprise to melancholic in an instant.

“Back in the kitchen…. I’m sorry. I made this for you, I’d be happy if you’d take it.”

She spoke with an accent, and looked away while talking to me. Maybe French?

I gesture toward the plate, admiring her hard work.

“Sorry? No no, I should be sorry, really. I was just curious as to what smelled so good. You shouldn’t have.”

She brightens up at this comment and blushes lightly. She rubs the back of her neck, shrugging off her smile.

“Oh, well… it’s really nothing, just a duck dish my mother taught me years ago…”

So it’s duck, huh? I’ve never even had a processed version of duck before.

“You never come across somebody who makes food nowadays.”

I speak through a mouthful of food. She takes a seat across the table and scoots in, anxious to tell more.

“It’s a family tradition of ours. My dad owned a fishing boat and my mom and I cooked the catch every night. I remember right after the war, my grandpa told me ‘never lose that which makes you special’. For us, that was cooking.”

She speaks proudly. And she has good reason. I’d never tasted anything this good. I can’t help but continue to stuff my face. “This is amazing. Unreal.”

Remaining silent, she hides a polite smile and looks at me with deep green eyes.

I wipe my mouth and swallow my food.

“I’m Simon by the way.”

I hold out my hand, quickly met by hers.

“I’m Jacquelyn. But call me Jaki. It’s so nice to meet you, Simon.”

She suddenly perks up, remembering something important.

“Hold on, you’re Simon Everett, aren’t you? Nolan’s told me so much about you! He says you’re a great student at the academy.”

“I just graduated. This is my first real big mission. I’m training to be a captain like him one day. How do you know him?”

“I owe everything to him. He gave me this job on the ship. He even appointed me head chef. It’s great that you plan to be a captain as well. The world needs more people like him.”

As if on cue, a confused Nolan Everett meanders into the cafeteria with Cass and Nomura at his side. What’s left of the crew in the lunchroom collectively rises to applaud dad.

“Oh, no more guys, no more. Really!”

Jaki stands to clap dad on as well. I decide to join in. Nomura rushes over to the buffet, pouring over the mountains of food before cramming together a plateful of desserts. Cass and I lock eyes and she begins to pull Nolan’s sleeve towards Jaki and I.

As he’s brought over from a wave of pat-on-the-backs, Dad brightens up at seeing us eating. Jaki stands up and takes my clean plate and her hardly touched plate.

“I see you and Simon have become acquainted.”

“Oh yes, he seems like a nice man.”

Jaki flashes me a vivacious smile.

“Only sometimes.”

Dad speaks sarcastically, in a matter-of-fact type of way.

“I need to help clean up soon. I’ll see you… tomorrow, Simon?”

“Count on it.”

“Can I get you anything, Nolan?”

“I’m sure you’re busy enough, I’ll head over to the buffet sooner or later.”

She jaunts across the cafeteria, headed back towards the kitchen, presumably.

… That was a bit strange. She didn’t even acknowledge Cass.

“Nice girl, isn’t she?”

“Absolutely. Her cooking is unbelieveable.”

“That duck you had is my personal favorite of hers.”

I can see Cass make a face like she has something bitter in her mouth.

“Anyways, I’m starved. I’ll go check out what they’re serving today. You still hungry?”

“No, thanks.”

Dad was already halfway to the buffet area. I don’t think he heard me. He narrowly missed Nomura, who was rushing back to the table with a platter of food. Before Cass can even move to sit down, Nomura has slipped into Jaki’s seat, and has begun scarfing down her collection of sweets. Cass pulls up a nearby chair and scoots into the table.

About

Written By Doak

Notes

EDIT NOTES ROUND 3: Fixed a few tense issues here and there. I’ve added scene changing ideas I have as well as the classic VN “…”’s. I’ve also added a more fleshed out opening to the beginning of the scene in the bridge, including Cass and Nomura. I’ve included insight into Simon’s mother as well. I made the kitchen scene a bit more understandable. I’ve added Cass and Nomura into the final moments of this scene, perhaps a good way to smoothly move into the next scene? If it isn’t clear in the writing above, then it should be said that I am creating somewhat of a rivalry between Cass and Jaki. What is your opinion on this, Ruube? I could easily take it out. The rivalry itself isn’t really founded on anything by the characters themselves, but I think that maybe the two compete for Nolan’s attention in some way. An idea I had for the end of this scene that I didn’t implement is a possible choice to NOT wave Nolan down, and continue talking with Jaki. The other choice would be TO flag him down, whereas the scene would carry out similarly to the way that it is above.

Project Legacy


QR Code
QR Code day_one_jaki_introduction_project_legacy (generated for current page)
 

Advertise with Anonymous Ads