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Coping as a stay at home dad

Around the world there is an increasing number of dads who are finding themselves home either because they have lost work or due to a number of reasons that render them unable to provide for the family leaving this role to the women.Traditionally it has been the man’s duty to provide for his family the woman even though working would only come in to supplement the man’s efforts. While this position can be temporary or permanent it is important that men realize they can go through this situation if they are able to judge potential areas of conflict in advance and thus avoid falling into these traps In this article we shall look at what you can do to get along and avoid possible murky waters in this new phenomenon so here we go

Firstly accept the situation as it is

Acknowledging the fact that you are not in the short term able to provide financially for the family is a powerful step, share this with your spouse and let them know how long this may last and what steps you are taking to reverse this situation doing so will enable them understand and plan for ways to supplement the income of the family.

Ignore the common myths about the traditional roles of the man and woman

Sayings like the woman’s place is in the kitchen or that men cannot cook should be revised in the current situation because you are here to support your spouse so taking up these roles in the home should come naturally with the mindset that all that is happening is in the best interests of the family.Do not accept the negative influence these thoughts can have on your ability to successfully carry domestic chores that are feminine in nature such as cooking or changing diapers.

Keep conversations alive and warm

If you are a stay at home dad women tend to be very sensitive in observing your mood swings, they may think you are not happy staying at home and performing roles you are not used to, while this may be true to a certain extent it is important that you control any mood swings you get as these can affect the well being of the entire family.

Seek the support of your extended family

Where it is difficult to perform certain domestic tasks like bathing of kids, washing or cooking men can enlist the help of relatives who may be free and can thus lend a hand in performing these tasks. Share this with your spouse and see that additional family members will not strain the already scarce resources in the family; there should be a balance between getting support for domestic duties and the economic implications of such a decision.

Learn new skills that have earning potential

Find time to learn or acquire a new skill that could earn you income, whereas being a stay at home dad can leave you with no time for personal obligations it is important that you find the time to develop personally as they is always a risk that your partner can get laid off leading to a loss of income for the family so find time to learn and develop your career further to keep up with the demands of the job market. There are many learning and training institutions that now offer flexible study times find one that suits your time schedule and enroll. The internet has made things a little easier it is now even possible to acquire relevant training online to boost your competitive edge.

Keep valuable contacts close and keep engaging them.

The temptation with being a stay at home dad is the tendency to have low self esteem and completely shut out the world, yet we all know the world outside plays a vital role in landing us numerous employment opportunities, most times job openings come through friends, try as much as possible to keep regular contact with friends and do not feel shy to let them know you are currently out of work, many will go the extra mile just to help you if they feel you are being upfront about your situation.

Avoid or cut down on luxury spending.

While you were still able to support the family financially there were certain items of expenditure that you may have spend funds on without batting an eyelid, naturally you foregoing some of these will be the prudent course of action to take as this makes more income available to cover the most essential of home needs, you may not have to announce your decisions but smartly turning down these needs even when offered to you is one sure way to contribute to family well being.

Participate more actively in Planning

The fact that you are no longer able to provide financially does not mean you should leave all financial decisions to your wife, on the contrary this is the best time to engage with her and be able to identify any opportunities that will save on expenses, an example could be searching for discounts online shopping on holiday giveaways, promotions etc.

Appreciate the time you have

There are many opportunities for you to contribute towards the running of the home understand that you have a valuable asset called time that other working dads may not have this is also a wonderful time to bond with your kids and offer them support in doing their home work and helping them develop crucial life skills.

continue the job search process

Keep searching for new job openings through magazines,online,from friends etc the worst that can happen to you is to get comfortable and think that your spouse will handle all the financial obligations of the home, whereas this may work in the short term, it is not a very comfortable position to be in. Always remember that even if she does not tell you publicly she may start to show signs of discomfort with your inability to provide for the family.

Finally some advice to those who think the chances of becoming a stay at home dad are slim it is just for your won good that you develop the ability to cope as well as nothing in life is certain, if you are better prepared for all eventualities you will be a safe bet for harder times. family


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