I'm going to invent a cocktail called the Bloody Methuselah. It will be a lot like the Bloody Mary, but help you live longer (hence the Methuselah part)

It will consist of, in no particular order: 1. Everclear 2. V8 Juice 3. Tumeric 4. Resveratrol 5. Pepper or Piperonal 6. Milk Thistle Extract 7. Tobasco 8. Other stuff I will add later! Lemon Juice, probably. Bitches love lemon juice. ..quantities will be worked out later.

And will be prepared by the following: 1. Get V8 Near freezing, on a magnetic stirrer, in a container that is only half full. Some alcohol may be added to lower freezing point. Tobasco is added to the point where the user finds it nearly unbearable and hard to drink. 2. Heat ever clear to near boiling. Add Resveratrol, Milk Thistle Extract, Pepper and Tumeric. 3. Suck up the hot everclear solution that is now bright yellow (probably) in a syringe, and rapidly and violently inject it into the cold stirred V8 juice, with syringe 2-3CM above the liquid surface, being sure to incorporate lots of air bubbles for even more agitation.

“WTF Cameron?”

- - Resveratrol has limited solubility in water and is more successfully absorbed when it is a ultra-fine particle. By making a super saturated alcohol solution of it, at a higher temperature then violently crashing it with water this creates finer particles and increases absorption rate. Additionally all of the other antixodients found in tomato juice and other impurities will really make it a bitch for the resveratrol to form into larger and less bioavailable particles.

– Pepper/Piperonal dramatically increases the bioavailablity of curcumin in the turmeric in addition to making the drink spicey.

– Milk Thistle Extract, Turmeric, Resveratrol, etc are all very strong antioxidents and alter gene expression of SIRT1 and other BS relating to Mangangense superoxide diadase (spelling is hard) as well as some of the other stuff found in the tomato juice (the lycopene might be more bioavailable in it, since it is highly processed but I am not sure)

– The Tobasco obviously has capasicin in it which causes increased blood flow near the surface of your mouth, tongue, gums, cheecks, etc – which dramatically increase resveratrol absorption. Esp, I bet – with the alcohol present (something to do with altering membrane permeability?) Also the tobasco should hopefully make it hard to drink - this will slow you down and increase exposure time to the sublingually absorbed resveratrol.

– Some other stuff will be added, and some more steps will be done – but that's the general idea of it. Would be tempting to add a tea extract (Made from green tea + rotary evaporator) – Due to the insolubility of the Thistle, Resveratrol and Turmeric they have to be added to the alcohol also, otherwise they clump and its completely gross/useless.

– No dairy should be eaten within an hour before or after consuming this drink since dairy products/proteins ruin many antioxidants.

At the end it will be a dark reddish brown color that only I could stomach. Totally worth it though.

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