Are you sabotaging healthy relationships?

Relationships play an important part in our lives. We all have the need to belong to a group or to be loved and cared for. It’s human nature. It’s sad to know that many relationships fall apart all because someone has “bad attitudes”. The good news is that attitudes can be changed and with some effort on the person’s part, can create a more joyous existence for themselves and their loved ones. Have a look at this list and check if you’re guilty of any of them. If you are, you can start taking steps to try and fix them.

-Over reacting/losing your temper

Do you want to live in peace and harmony with your partner and loved ones? Then, first, control yourself. Losing your temper, showing constant anger, or shouting for pointless reasons is obviously harmful to your relationships. If you’re guilty of starting arguments and fights, try to rid yourself of quarrelsome, authoritarian attitudes. You can contain your reactions and stop. Avoid aggressiveness and verbal abuse.

-Deteriorating communication

Many couples share the same bed, certain meals, TV programs; they sometimes go out together. But, they’re not always lucky enough to share a purpose, fields of interest or higher values. Therefore, each of them pursues their own life, their own personal fate, only attentive to their own concerns or interests. By speaking less and less together, they stop sharing, there are no more exchanges of ideas. Their paths eventually move apart. Without any more true communication, the couple gradually loses any real contact. Try doing something or tackling a task together that both partners enjoy. Do this often to rekindle that connection that you once had.


Are you jealous if your wife/husband always attracts the opposite sex’s attention or gets admiration from them? You should feel flattered! Keep smiling! It is a tribute to you, one more proof of your good taste, of the good choice you have made. And, especially don’t hold it against him/her. Do not blame him/her for a ‘provocative’ attitude and start a quarrel. There’s a difference between flirting and getting admiration. If you and your partner have a good relationship and trust each other, there is nothing to be jealous about.

-Comparing to others

Never make comparisons between your partner and your ex or any of your acquaintances. Your partner will feel that he/she is not good enough and that they’re inferior. Who is perfect on Earth? If you make a comparison, then only make positive ones. Otherwise keep for yourself your disappointed, bitter or negative reflections.

-Falling into a routine

Routine can spoil a relationship. With our busy lifestyles it’s easy to get “stuck in a rut” and end up having a boring and uneventful relationship. Take care of your love, spoil your partner a little, they are the key to your happiness! Never forget to continually “nourish” your bond with your partner. Think of making small unforeseen and frequent pleasures to your beloved, to have some attentions for them, to express your tenderness, by a touch of excitement or intimacy.

-Giving your work top priority

Include your family in your work or at least share with them what’s keeping you so busy. This is important. Partners can feel alienated because they are always kept in the dark and not told what’s keeping their husband/wife so busy most of the time. A way to put this problem right is to share activities and fields of interest with your beloved and both of you, with your children. Another additional way is to make appointments with your partner and to respect them. This way, you demonstrate the importance and the place you grant him/her in your life. In order to live a long-lasting relationship, you have to remain available for each other. Remember your true priorities are your loved ones.

-A life of haste

If you have acknowledged the happiness to live a passionate relationship, at least at the beginning, you will remember these delicious moments during which you were both active, and which both of you loved to prolong. You loved being with each other all day, loved prolonging your dinner date, loved prolonging your strolls. Over time your responsibilities accumulate, your children, your work, your responsibilities devour every minute of your time. It even happens to these lovers, to forget to take time for the “daily cuddle”! They don’t take time anymore to give each other some compliments, some words of love; to exchange small positive messages in order to remind themselves how much they love each other, how much they value their relationship, how much they appreciate each others presence. It’s necessary to take time off from the “hustle and bustle”. To hurry these moments is hurrying the outbreak of tensions.

-Letting our “looks” slide

When you were dating, hygiene and body care was top priority. Standing in front of the mirror for prolonged periods making sure everything was perfect! Our partners loved this because it showed them that we wanted to impress them and we wanted to give them our best. Years later…body care is a constant disorder, untidy dress sense, excess weight gain. There are so many ways of letting your partner guess that you hardly care to please them. Big mistake, carelessness marks a lack of consideration to your better half, and this can hurt them deeply. Respecting oneself and the other also involves slight concessions connected to one’s own look: the image which one gives of oneself has to be positive. This quality not only has to be considered a female one. Men often lose sight that women too like to be at the arm or in the company of a partner of whom they feel legitimately proud.

-Possessive behavior

Being possessive over someone is a sure means of driving them away from you. You want to continue to feel well together for a long time? Well, your loved one is not a child anymore. Give them a free rein, rely on them! Each partner in a relationship has to preserve at least a part of their personal life, of their opinions, of their tastes. Always imposing on your partner your own way of life is a constraint which is not acceptable anymore in our time. Living together never means surrendering one’s own personality; having to comply in all with the desires and requirements of the other is, on the contrary, a very effective way to awaken feelings of rebellion. This leads one to become secretive, it leads to lies and unfaithfulness. Important decisions have to be taken together. To live a harmonious relationship naturally involves common activities and relations, sharing a social life, tasks and responsibilities. You two are a team, so do things together and win this game called relationships!

Society | Relationships

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