A husband is not enough for the missus

Despite the sorry booboos I commit and the dwindling attention (even inattention) I sometimes shower my dear wife of four years, I still think I'm a pretty good husband to her. And I'm all that she ever treasures in her married life.

I was cocksure about that - until a week or two ago. That time, I saw my wife on the phone for the umpteenth time and that was when I began to have second thoughts about my boastful claim.

She was there, perched on a chair, legs crossed, phone cradled between her uptilted right shoulder and her glowing, downtilted cheek. She flailed her hands as she talked. If my reckoning is right, she'd been there for more than a half hour already. The way things appeared, it would take more time than the proverbial, marathoning turtle would take to reach the finish line before she'd hang up. Goodness gracious!

Everytime I'd attempt to interrupt her, to ask her about some important matter, she'd wave me off like a poultry raiser would vigorously shoo away a ravenous predator before it gets to the henhouse.

Take Two

A day or two later, my wife was back on the phone. As she bantered with the person on the other end of the burning phone line, I could imagine her excited spirits leaping out of her soul.

“Who was that?” I asked after she had finally hung up. I was sure she just chatted with one with whom she had not talked for centuries.

“Oh, it's my friend Yvonne,” she said, stars dancing in her eyes. “Yvonne again? But you just spoke to her the other day!”

I had often wondered why women but especially wives, and more so mothers staying at home to take care of their children - spend so much time talking. Surely women can blah-blah and engage in apparently trivial chit-chats for hours on end. But that day, I wondered again about that interesting phenomenon.

Could it be that, many times, Graham Bell's invention and other communication media serve as women's lifeline to better understanding, greater self-esteem and expanded horizons? Dr. Robert Glen, a family and marriage counselor, thinks women find that phone chats with their friends make them feel less alone and isolated. “A good telephone conversation with a close friend can often dispel feelings of depression.”

I agree. And yet my wife was not feeling depressed. She said she just wanted to finalize things with a friend.

“Finalizing what?” I pressed.

“Secret,” my wife said, trying to contain her overflowing excitement which soon spilled over anyway. “Okay,” she said,

“Yvonne and I are going on a date!”

“A date?” I tried to conceal my surprise.

“Uhuh.” Her eyes bulged and her lips pursed. She nodded her head, as if inviting me to try to veto her decision.

“May I go with you?” I finally managed to say something.

“No!” I could tell from the way she spoke that she had something to say.

“Why not?”

“It's strictly women's affair.”

Why a Wife Must Have Women Friends

What do women friends do to women? Well, basically they can provide companionship and support.

So while I have my male friends, my wife has - besides Yvonne - her female buddies like Melinda and Lynn. They share a friendship like no other.

Try asking women whom they would most like to be with. I bet it would be mother or daughter, husband, a relative. A woman friend would be at, or at least near, the top of that list.

And that's expected. Women usually form close friendships with other women. We men don't.

Women display greater ease in both talking about their personal feelings and listening to others who will understand them. And they can, according to some experts, often understand what other women are going through better than their spouses might. We men, by contrast, frequently share a sports activity that leaves little room for talking. When we get together, we are more restrained, and seldom open up especially when it comes to personal subjects. Our tête-à-tête is often an expression of opinions and ideas on subjects of particular interest to us, like sports and politics. We're uncomfortable about discussing our inner feelings and even in listening to others' personal problems.

I Should Have Known

Some people have come up with things every husband like me should know. For example, I should be able to tell at any one time the price of a dozen roses. I must be aware that success has more to do with self-worth than with net worth. That only Jesus can walk on water. That my neighbor's wife has stretch marks too.

Today I add one more item to that to-know list.

A husband is not enough for the missus.

There. You heard it. I said my wife also needs the company of her female friends. So does every husband's.

Society | Relationships | Self-Help

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